I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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