Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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