SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Someone signed my nipple.
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