What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
