my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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