At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Shame - the story of my life.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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