I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
