forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
