isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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