I got chris browned last night
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
