I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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