OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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