You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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