you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
