im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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