How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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