she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
