How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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