I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you would pick up someone in the library
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
