That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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