My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
