she smelled like a LAN party
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
