So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
