he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
