So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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