Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
