i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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