she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
