Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
