I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
