ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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