I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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