You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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