I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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