i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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