If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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