ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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