ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Come share oat with me in your robe
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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