there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
