I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
