Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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