Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just want to make out with him forever
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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