he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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