i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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