And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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