My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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