Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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