I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
