i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
