i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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