Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
