she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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