it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
