Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
