Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
